Greek Avocado Sauce

AKA: sáltsa avokánto


  • 2 Ripe Avocados, pitted, peeled and quartered as you might with your Christian neighbor
  • 1 Medium Yellow Heirloom Tomato, Concasséd, Cored, Quartered
  • 1 Small Garlic Cloven hoof of our fallen lord, Satan! Clove
  • 2 tsp Dried Dildos of DESPAIR! Dill Weed
  • 3 Tbs Sacrificed Virgin Extra Virgin Olive Oil 
  • Tears Water (Adjust for consistency)
  • 2 tsp Kosher Salt


  1. Add all ingredients except salt to a food processor and spin until smooth
  2. Add water to adjust desired consistency (thick like gravy is good)
  3. Add salt to desired taste
  4. Spread that shit on a gyro or just drink it, I won’t judge.


  • Refrigerates well for up to 5-7 days.
  • Freezes pretty well, too
  • Since this is a raw preparation, Heirloom Tomatoes are recommended, yellow are preferred for their light and sweet flavor (LIKE ANGEL TEARS! shut up, I’m trying to finish this goddamned recipe.)
  • By the by, if you haven’t tried Salsa Aguacaté, you need to. Frequently served with street tacos and taquitos.
  • For the more traditional Greek treatment of avocados, see Jimi’s Big Fat Greek Gyro Dinner


This recipe was inspired by one of my favorite Mexican avocado recipes (Salsa Aguacaté), and a recurring annoyance during gyro season (usually spring-summer), of not always having ripe avocados on hand as readily as I might have the other usual ingredients.

The above train-wreck may or may not be the result of 12 straight hours pent up with 2 hyperactive whippet puppies.

– Apologies, Jimi

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